‘Illegal Tender’ is Yawningly Generic, Must-Miss Movie of Summer

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CHICAGO – Though not billed as a comedy, “Illegal Tender” is one of those yawningly generic films that tries too hard to be taken seriously and ends up making you laugh.

If you haven’t heard of the film by now, it’s better to keep it that way.

Wanda De Jesus in “Illegal Tender”.
Photo courtesy of IMDb
“Illegal Tender,” which opens on Friday, is the must-miss movie of the summer. Its story of revenge, redemption, ethnic pride and the glue bonding a troubled family is boring, predictable and overdone.

Scenes in which a mother and her 21-year-old son blaze out of their posh residence with guns blazing in broad daylight and a cop nary in sight are particularly ludicrous.

Lead role selection in “Illegal Tender” also proved fatal.

A film like the new “Resurrecting the Champ” does well with a top-grade actor like Samuel L. Jackson taking the helm while “Stardust” is equally commended for selecting the relatively unknown Charlie Cox as the man of the hour.

Rick Gonzalez (middle) in “Illegal Tender”.
Photo courtesy of IMDb
You know “Illegal Tender” is off to a paltry start when you see the rookie Rick Gonzalez attempt to strut the bad-boy, awww-yeah stuff that should spill out from his character.

Instead, he feels like a 21-year-old boy just going through puberty. He fires his first big-barreled gun like it was his inaugural BB gun at boy scout camp.

Featuring an entire cast of actors you’ve probably never heard of, the only talented performance who gives this picture any redemption whatsoever comes from Wanda De Jesus.

Had she been paired with a much better cast delivering lines in a much better story, then perhaps we might have seen a movie that was at least mediocre.

Rick Gonzalez (left) in “Illegal Tender”.
Photo courtesy of IMDb
She’s a strong, single mom you don’t want to slight – for fear of getting gunned down, it turns out, from among her stashed arsenal in a basement safe her kids didn’t know about – and she has a brief stunt with a new boyfriend at a mature age.

That plot line ends up going nowhere fast, though, as the film proves her one and only man is her eldest son. That’s cute.

It’s also just as cute watching her slather together a sandwich just before whipping out dual hand canons and offing the bad guys who decide to come back for more after two decades.

My god, Franc Reyes: What were you thinking even attempting to direct this? You already pained us enough with “Empire”.

By ADAM FENDELMAN Editor-in-Chief HollywoodChicago.com adam@hollywoodchicago.com

© 2007 Adam Fendelman, HollywoodChicago.com

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