Conan the Barbarian

CHICAGO – There were a disturbing number of remakes in 2011 that failed to justify their existence, including “The Thing,” “Footloose,” and, perhaps worst of all, Marcus Nispel’s “Conan the Barbarian.” The man behind the equally worthless remakes of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “Friday the 13th” has carved out his own niche of dubious filmmaking decisions that make the original look like a masterpiece in comparison. The first “Conan” worked almost entirely because of the star power brought to it by Ah-nuld. The words star power and Jason Momoa have never been used together in a sentence before now.

CHICAGO – Hurricane Irene caused some drops in the number of attendees out on the east coast this weekend, but “The Help” was still able to come in at number one at the box office, marking the second week in a row where the film led the pack. This is quite the accomplishment considering the film finished in second place in its debut weekend and came in as the front runner in its second and third weeks in the theaters.

CHICAGO – For the first time since the end of July, the number one film at the box office this past weekend was not titled “Rise of the Planet of the Apes.” After two weeks at the top, the primates were beat out by the comedy/drama “The Help.”

CHICAGO – Sword and sandal epics are almost expected to have wooden acting and absurd dialogue. The new film “Conan the Barbarian” meets those expectations, and doesn’t offer any action or originality to counteract the anticipated flaws.

CHICAGO – For the second weekend in a row, a rarity in the summer of 2011, “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” came in at number one at the box office with $27.8 million. Positive word-of-mouth and a serious lack of viable competition pushed the suprising hit to #1 at the box office for the second weekend in a row.

CHICAGO – In our latest 3D action/adventure edition of HollywoodChicago.com Hookup: Film, we have 40 admit-two passes up for grabs to the advance Chicago screening of “Conan the Barbarian” in 3D with Jason Momoa!

CHICAGO – I’m going to withhold judgment until I see it but, on paper, it makes no sense to remake John Milius’ 1982 fantasy/action classic “Conan the Barbarian” for one simple reason — there’s only one Ah-nuld. The movie weighed heavily on the charisma of its unique star, someone who was essentially catapulted to the A-list by this film and lightning only strikes once. Does anyone think that Jason Momoa, star of the August 19th remake from Marcus Nispel (remake “King” after desecrating “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “Friday the 13th”) will find the same magic? Check out the originals, now on Blu-ray, and see the standard he has to live up to.