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CHICAGO – Here is an alleged family film made with all the heart and invention of a cynical business deal. Not a single person involved in the production appears to have any concept of what constitutes quality family entertainment. It’s essentially 103 minutes of product placement, with the biggest product being the Smurfs. There’s also room for Rock Band, Google, M&Ms, the Blue Man Group and every single business located on Times Square.

CHICAGO – According to multiple reports from the 2010 Cannes Film Festival, Oliver Schmitz’s artfully lensed, sensitively acted film received one of the warmest receptions. Set in a modern South African village, “Life, Above All” is one of several recent pictures aiming to illustrate that an HIV-positive diagnosis is no longer a death sentence. It’s a film of grand statements delivered with quiet power.

CHICAGO – Here’s a directorial debut made with such an assured sense of style and craft that one wishes it were more fun. All the ingredients are here for a splendid cult classic: deadpan gags, live-action aliens, a fresh-faced ensemble and R-rated violence all wrapped in the blessings of Edgar Wright and Nick Frost. Yet “Attack the Block” sounds a lot more fun on paper that it is in execution.

CHICAGO – With so many laughless sitcoms premiering this season on ABC, it’s tempting to overpraise a show that actually manages to be funny. “Happy Endings” has already received a good deal of praise from Hollywood Chicago for its top-notch ensemble and vibrantly witty banter, though it’s not quite in the same league as the shows it wishes to emulate, particularly “Friends” and “Arrested Development.”

CHICAGO – Salim Akil’s “Jumping the Broom” is the sort of sociological comedy so hell-bent on smothering the audience in a sentimental love-fest that it quickly softens its potentially biting premise. Akil’s background in television (“The Game,” “Girlfriends”) may explain why the film feels like an uneasy melding of sitcom and soap opera clichés. Any time the film threatens to become interesting, it instantly goes into autopilot.

CHICAGO – What higher power in Hollywood decided that Alex Pettyfer should be allowed to have a film career? His “Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker” didn’t exactly set the world on fire, nor did “I Am Number Four.” He has the name of a Bond girl and the emotional range of Miley Cyrus. And yet, the dude is still considered bankable, purely because of his good looks. Apparently it’s more important to look like a movie star than to act like one.

CHICAGO – A mere glance at the pedigree of this action comedy causes one’s expectations to soar: the director of “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” joins forces with the writers of “Superbad.” How cool is that? Michel Gondry’s childlike sensibilities would appear to be an ideal match for Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg’s infectious whimsicality.

CHICAGO – If a musical miscalculation as epic in ineptitude as Steve Antin’s “Burlesque” is considered eligible for a Best Musical or Comedy Award, then the Golden Globes are officially advised to a.) Retire the outdated category, or b.) Retire the entire hopelessly corrupt awards show. Either decision is guaranteed to prove beneficial in the long run.

CHICAGO – “My relationship with death remains the same. I’m strongly against it,” mused Woody Allen at the 2010 Cannes Film Festival, during the press conference for his latest London-set comedy. The quote was quintessential Allen, though it had a particular poignance in light of his disappointing yet diverting offering, “You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger.”

CHICAGO – A simple glance at the trailer and poster for “Tamara Drewe” would lead one to assume that the film was a showcase for the largely untapped abilities of Gemma Arterton. At age 25, she’s already been wasted in three regrettable Hollywood blockbusters, emerging as little more than a low-rent Rachel Weisz. Her strong work in British productions like “The Disappearance of Alice Creed” suggests that she may merely be miscast.