Blu-Ray Review: ‘The Human Centipede’ Delivers Campy, Queasy Chills

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CHICAGO – Here’s a knee-jerk horrorshow with a premise so monumentally galvanizing and profoundly disgusting that it manages to upstage the film itself. Once you’ve discovered what the “Human Centipede” is, in all of its grotesque awfulness, your mind instantly creates a vision more viscerally disturbing than anything that could possibly be captured on film.

If by some chance you have not learned of what the “Human Centipede” is, then read no further, unless you’re not intending to lose your lunch anytime soon. Though the premise is depraved beyond belief, the film itself is less excruciating than one would expect (it’s certainly no “Cannibal Holocaust”). Writer/director Tom Six, an eager-to-quease provocateur from the Netherlands, has concocted a campy lark with a very specific audience in mind, that of the midnight movie thrill hounds who take delight in daring themselves to avoid shielding their eyes from extreme levels of cinematic nastiness.

Blu-Ray Rating: 3.0/5.0

“The Human Centipede” is nasty alright, but it’s also impossible to take seriously. The hypnotically insect-like Dieter Laser is a hoot as Dr. Heiter, a mad surgeon who once gained fame for his skill in separating Siamese twins. Now he specializes in fusing humans together. Since no person in their right mind would be willing to volunteer for one of his experiments, he must hunt for patients. The opening scene shows the doctor advancing on his latest prey. Heiter steps out of his car, retrieves an enormous shotgun, and then hides it under his flimsy trench coat.

If you find yourself cracking a grin during this moment, then you’re the ideal audience member for this movie. Once the action shifts to unlikable protagonists Lindsay (Ashley C. Williams) and Jenny (Ashlynn Yennie), the film starts to resemble the countless bargain basement shockers currently available on FEARnet. The two girls are shrill, shallow and hopelessly lost as they bumble through the woods after their car breaks down. The BFFs on a whirlwind eurotrip, yet neither of them knows how to change a tire. Where do they decide to stop for directions? Dr. Heiter’s house, of course!

Ashley C. Williams finds herself stuck in a most unpleasant position in Tom Six’s The Human Centipede.
Photo credit: IFC Films

Soon the poor twits find themselves being lectured by Heiter about their fate. The doctor intends on creating a “Human Centipede” by stitching three humans together to create one digestive system. Heiter’s other victim is an Asian businessman (Akihiro Kitamura) who shouts subtitled threats such as, “The Japanese possess incredible strength when backed into a corner!” Though the script is utterly ridiculous, Six treats the situations with just enough gravity and tension to generate palpable suspense. The director is surprisingly restrained in his use of gore, thus placing emphasis on psychological horrors rather than cheap exploitative thrills. Williams, Yennie and Kitamura are all brave for taking on such thankless, torturous roles, providing a platform for Laser to literally chew the scenery. Looking like a shriveled Boris Karloff and sounding like a German Alan Rickman, Laser is clearly enjoying himself, and his enjoyment is infectious. Though “The Human Centipede” may not be many people’s idea of a good time, it’s inventive and demented enough to please its target audience.

The Human Centipede was released on Blu-Ray and DVD on Oct. 5, 2010. Photo credit: IFC Films

“The Human Centipede” is presented in 1080p High Definition (with a 1.78:1 aspect ratio), resulting in a picture quality all too clear for comfort. Most of the special features further dilute the film’s horror, particularly when the centipede is seen goofing off during the nine minutes of behind the scenes footage. In a brief but memorable interview, Six reveals that the premise was born out of his own sick fantasy of what the worst possible punishment would be for a convicted child molester. He also discloses which actors would be cast as the centipede in a Hollywood remake: Tom Cruise, Jennifer Lopez and Paris Hilton—in that order. For the film’s 2011 sequel, subtitled “(Full Sequence),” Six plans to construct a centipede out of no less than twelve actors, and promises that it will make the original look like “My Little Pony” in comparison. There’s also audition tapes for the lead actresses, alternate posters, and a very funny deleted scene featuring a dancing Laser, who looks more like Christopher Walken than ever (“Weapon of Choice” would’ve fit perfectly here). Unquestionably the grossest thing on this disc is a 5-minute foley session where a guy makes revolting sounds with a pile of meat littered with dismembered animal parts.

Six is amusingly matter-of-fact in his dissection of the characters’ dilemma, which he insists is “100 percent medically accurate.” He reminisces about how several actresses left the auditions, offended by the subject matter. The director also freely points out continuity errors, justifying them with the the label of “movie magic.” He says that he decided to cast an Asian actor as the “head” of the centipede, partly because of his love for Japanese horror films, and partly because he wanted a character who wouldn’t be able to communicate with Dr. Heiter, whose name was a mishmash of notorious Nazi surgeons (a tasteless homage, to say the least).

By MATT FAGERHOLM Staff Writer HollywoodChicago.com matt@hollywoodchicago.com