TV Review: Donald Trump Assembles Crazy Cast For ‘The Celebrity Apprentice’

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CHICAGO – In the opening scenes of the season premiere of NBC’s “The Celebrity Apprentice,” the amazing Donald Trump actually claims to have turned Joan Rivers, Piers Morgan, and Bret Michaels into stars through their winning the show (and he’s only maybe half-joking; more like a quarter). He then ends the introduction with the line, “The circus is back in town and you’re looking at the ring master. It’s showtime.” Bring in the clowns.

TV Rating: 3.5/5.0

“The Celebrity Apprentice” is the ultimate in unbridled ego. Not only is Trump’s ego something that should be studied in classes but most of the people he gathers for his annual charity competition have become so self-important that they don’t really know how to function. The choices for this year are either inspired or delusional, depending on how you look at it. On one hand, no one wants a “low-key” edition of “The Celebrity Apprentice,” so you would have to say that this year’s cast is a great one. On the other hand, spending two hours with this collection of (with rare exception) narcissistic morons can be aggravating, but the show delivers what it promises — the circus.

The Celebrity Apprentice
Photo credit: NBC

There are very, very few people who can say the following with a straight face — “Lil Jon, who should I fire?” (Oh, how I hoped he would say “WHAT?!?!” a la Dave Chappelle.) But there are very few shows like “The Celebrity Apprentice.” If you’ve been living under a rock the last few years, Donald Trump’s franchise was completely recharged when he brought out a celebrity version in which B- and C-level stars competed for charity. He regularly gets a few solid professionals, a few total lunatics, and a few people in the middle. It’s a formula for success as this edition of the show has been a solid performer, certainly much more than the standard “The Apprentice.”

The Celebrity Apprentice Photo credit: NBC

This year’s cast may be the best yet — Gary Busey, Jose Canseco, David Cassidy, Hope Dworaczyk, Richard Hatch, La Toya Jackson, Star Jones, NeNe Leakes, Lil Jon, Marlee Matlin, Mark McGrath, Meat Loaf, John Rich, Lisa Rinna, Niki Taylor, and Dionne Warwick. Once again, Donald’s children Ivanka and Donald Jr. serve as his co-ringleaders. Some of the cast this year are undeniable household names but if you didn’t say “Who?” to at least one of the personalities in the list above, you’re a bit too tapped into pop culture for your own good. No one expects an entire lineup of superstars for a show like “The Celebrity Apprentice,” but it’s just weird to have a “Real Housewives” star (Leakes) up against an Academy Award winner (Matlin) up against a baseball icon (Canseco) up against a “Survivor” winner. Trump casts his net of “Celebrity” wide.

And he reels in some damn entertaining fish. Busey lives up to his billing as a total maniac although one wonders if Trump is not exploiting a bit of mental or physical illness here as the Oscar nominee is clearly not all there (and his time on “Celebrity Rehab” suggested that his odd behavior may be related to neurological problems). Still, it’s hard not to laugh when Busey suggests the male team be named “Sperm Farmers.”

The fact is that Trump and Producer Mark Burnett have assembled some striking personalities, knowing full well that this many alpha males and females can’t survive without some serious drama. The show took off when Joan and Melissa Rivers went nuts on Annie Duke in the boardroom and this year’s group was clearly cast hoping for similar fireworks (and they get them in the very first episode). Putting strong personalities like Canseco, Hatch, and Busey on one team or Rinna, Jackson, and Jones on the other is guaranteed to produce some drama. Some are forgettable (Dworazcyk, Leakes, McGrath) and Matlin seems WAY too sophisticated for this crew, but it’s a good cast overall and that’s all that really matters.

“The Celebrity Apprentice” is guilty pleasure reality TV (although there’s still absolutely no reason for the program to be two hours…it would work much better at a less-bloated one). Even those who love it can’t say they do for any reason other than the odd behavior on display. There’s something strangely comforting about seeing millionaires act like babies and I think that’s what’s so appealing about “The Celebrity Apprentice.” Even superstars can be fired too.

By BRIAN TALLERICO Content Director HollywoodChicago.com brian@hollywoodchicago.com