Video Game Review: ‘Lord of the Rings: Guardians of Middle-Earth’ is Subpar

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CHICAGO – Orcs, wizards, and dwarves, oh my. Between “Lord of the Rings: Guardians of Middle-Earth”, “WoW”, “Kingdoms of Amalur”, and about sixty thousand other games, movies, and TV shows featuring medieval fantasy, it’s pretty obvious this setting appeals to millions of people across the world. To these fans, the “Lord of The Rings” franchise is like the Holy Bible. So it pains me to say that the acronym-o-riffic XBLA MOBA “LOTR:GOME” is practically sacrilege.

Video Game Rating: 2.0/5.0

“Lord Of The Rings: Guardians Of Middle-Earth” attempts to bring the frantic RTS-meets-beat-em-up-meets-tower-defense style gameplay that has made “League of Legends” and “Defense Of The Ancients” household names amongst gamers. Seriously, I’ve had at least two beautiful women in two different parts of the country extol the virtue of these franchises to me. Personally, I’ve never attempted these games, mostly because RTS and Tower Defense games aren’t my favorite genres (Though the excellent mobile game “Kingdom Rush” has gone a long way toward changing my mind).

Lord of the Rings: Guardians of Middle-Earth
Photo credit: Warner Bros.

So, I was pretty excited to tackle this new “LOTR” game to see what all the fuss was about. For $14.99, you’re getting a relatively fully-featured game that allows you play as your favorite characters from the franchise (pretty much everyone of note is here: Legolas, Gandalf, Et. all) in online multiplayer battles, the goal being to work with your teammates, defeat your opponents, and destroy their home base.

Lord of the Rings: Guardians of Middle-Earth Photo credit: Warner Bros.

Things get off to a rocky start, after the long and boring tutorial takes you through how to fight, activate abilities, use potions, level up, upgrade towers, and kill special creatures before tossing you into a “tutorial” skirmish that’s really hard to find (and needs to be completed to play online). Following the tutorial you can engage in an online skirmish and to get your Gandalf on.

Well, you’ll select a skirmish, then you’ll wait. And wait. And wait. Then you’ll get into a lobby, and wait a few seconds more, before being plopped into a battle. Then you’ll run toward combat, where you’ll wait some more as your character runs methodically toward the battle front. Then you’ll hit a couple of enemies, die, then wait some more to respawn. I’m actually tempted to say the main gameplay mechanic of “Guardians of Middle Earth” is waiting.

Lord of the Rings: Guardians of Middle-Earth Photo credit: Warner Bros.

I don’t know if this is typical for MOBA games. What I do know is that once you get to the battlefront and start killing and using abilities, things degenerate into a chaotic button-mashing fest that’s entirely devoid of strategy and enjoyment. Mash buttons, kill an enemy, get killed, wait to respawn, level up, rinse, repeat. This can’t be fun for anyone.

But then again, maybe it is. From what I understand in online leagues, where MOBA games are played competitively, a round of “League of Legends” or “Defense Of The Ancients” is a thing of beauty. Some players take defensive roles, upgrading and defending the base, others take offensive positions, attempting to move the battle front toward the enemy’s base in an attempt to capture it, and a select few take support roles, buffing their teammates with stat bonuses and defense boosts.

This is nowhere to be seen in “Lord Of The Rings: Guardians Of Middle Earth” as it stands this moment. It’s not fun, it’s not epic, and it’s incredibly frustrating to have to wait well over 3-4 minutes to even get into a game.

If you have a lot of friends that enjoy MOBA games, and you can get together over XBLA and strategize and communicate properly, then yes, “LOTR: GOME” has potential. But if you’re buying this game to see what the whole MOBA thing is about, then be prepared for a frustrating and tedious experience. You may even wanna have a book handy. Know any good ones?

By PAUL MEEKIN Video Game Critic HollywoodChicago.com