Film Review: Clever Cast Can’t Quite Save Crazy ‘Pain & Gain’

Submitted by BrianTT on April 25, 2013 - 8:49am

CHICAGO – Michael Bay’s “Pain & Gain” tells such a ridiculous story that it has to be true. Based on the infamous case of the Sun Gym Gang, a trio of bodybuilders who committed some unspeakable, bizarre crimes, “Pain & Gain” nearly works through the sheer charisma and talent of its A-list cast. A bloated running time, Bay’s problems with pacing, and a pretty juvenile script hold it back from truly clicking but there is enough manic energy to this larger-than-life story that it could practically numb one into thinking it connects as well as it should.

Rating: 3.0/5.0

“Pain & Gain” will inspire film goers to consider who might have done more with the same story. What would Joel & Ethan Coen’s “Pain & Gain” look like? (It would have been a dark, comic masterpiece and the lead role probably would have been played by Michael Stuhlbarg). What would Martin Scorsese’s “Pain & Gain” feel like? (It would have been a star-studded, more ambitious piece with Leo in the lead, naturally.) What would Tony Scott’s “Pain & Gain” have been like? (Briefly, it would have been great. This story feels made for Tony Scott.) The reason that all this speculation is fun is simple – the movie nearly works in spite of Bay and not because of him. Bay treats the people involved in this true story like CGI creations from one of his “Transformers” films and the lack of human touch on his part plays tug of war with the charisma of the cast. Bay wins. We lose.

Read Brian Tallerico’s full review of “Pain and Gain” in our reviews section.

“Pain & Gain” is alternately narrated by the characters at the core of its insane story of greed, violence, and murder. The lead of this parade of stupidity is Daniel Lugo (Mark Wahlberg), a man who believes that his pursuit and achievement of bigger muscles has earned him the right to the American dream of mansions, boats, and a new woman every night. He listens to infomercial star Johnny Wu (Ken Jeong) preach the differences between a “Do-er” and a “Don’t-er” and he knows he’s the former. But he’s tired of being the physical trainer to women who won’t screw him because he’s not rich enough and wealthy pricks who don’t appreciate what they have. He’s going to steal from one of them.

The lucky guy is Victor Kershaw (Tony Shalhoub), an abrasive Colombian-Jew who owns a Schlotsky’s Deli near the airport and has enough investments to keep money in an offshore account in the Bahamas. Lugo hatches a plan to kidnap him, extort money and property from him, and send him on his way. He won’t care. No harm, no foul. And Daniel and his buddies – Jesus-loving ex-con Paul Doyle (Dwayne Johnson) and impotent & annoying Adrian Doorbal (Anthony Mackie) – will just slide into the high life. Of course, things go wrong when Vic refuses to play along.

Continue reading for Brian Tallerico’s full “Pain and Gain” review.

“Pain & Gain” stars Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Anthony Mackie, Ed Harris, Tony Shalhoub, Rebel Wilson, Ken Jeong, Bar Paly, and Rob Corddry. It was directed by Michael Bay. It is rated R and opens on April 26, 2013.