CHICAGO – Excelsior! Comic book legend Stan Lee’s famous exclamation puts a fine point on the third and final play of Mark Pracht’s FOUR COLOR TRILOGY, “The House of Ideas,” presented by and staged at City Lit Theater in Chicago’s Edgewater neighborhood. For tickets/details, click HOUSE OF IDEAS.
Film Review: Ethan Hawke, Selena Gomez in Numbing, Awful ‘Getaway’
CHICAGO – You know a car chase movie is poorly made when you’re longing for more dialogue scenes between Selena Gomez & Ethan Hawke just to break up the tedium of the neverending, personality-free vehicular nonsense. At one point, Hawke’s character actually says, after one of several situations that could never possibly be replicated in the real world, “I can’t believe that actually worked.” I’m assuming he said something similar when he cashed the paycheck for what is easily one of the worst films of his career. Hawke is a smart, talented actor, and I’m sure he thought at one point that “Getaway” could be a fun B-movie slice of escapism. But he had to realize during production that this poorly-written, awfully-directed hunk of junk wasn’t going to connect with anyone (which is why it’s being buried in the non-hit weekend of Labor Day) as even he looks bored during this non-action movie. You will be too.
Rating: 1.0/5.0 |
I will say that “Getaway” gets points for wasting no time at all. There’s no introduction to the character, no set-up, not even any time spent with Brent Magna (Ethan Hawke) and his wife (Rebecca Budig) before the latter is kidnapped, sending Magna into a bizarre hybrid of “Die Hard with a Vengeance,” “Compliance,” and “Fast Five.” Magna is ordered to steal a high-speed car that has been equipped with numerous cameras. When he gets in it, his wife’s kidnapper (Jon Voight, seen almost entirely through shots of his mouth talking on the phone, leading one to wonder if it’s even the legendary actor or someone doing an impression) calls Brent and tells him that he must follow every instruction on a crash course through Bulgaria. If he doesn’t follow an order, his wife will die.
Read Brian Tallerico’s full review of “Getaway” in our reviews section. |
Before you can digest your first bites of popcorn, Brent is speeding through crowded Christmas markets, crashing into stages, and driving through an underground mall. His orders seem to just be to generally cause chaos until he ends up, seemingly randomly at first, picking up the actual owner (Selena Gomez) of the car that holds him hostage. The street-wise, tough kid passenger brings a new degree of ridiculousness to the saga, both in that she becomes an integral part of the schemes of Brent’s tormentor but also in the way she responds to all of it. After seeing footage of Brent’s wife with a gun to her head, the character known only as “The Kid,” complains about the paint job being ruined on her ride. Action and dialogue in “Getaway” feel so out of place with the way that people would actually behave in the real world that it approaches the level of parody.
The rest of “Getaway” unfolds in predictable and increasingly depressing ways. The pair drives for a little bit, get spotted by the cops (if they’re caught, Brent’s wife will be killed), and are forced to speed away, doing millions of dollars in property damage along the way and apparently having an indestructible vehicle of their own. It got to the point that every sound of a siren caused me to sink in my seat with despair, surely not the response director Courtney Solomon was going for.
Getaway
Photo credit: Warner Bros. Pictures