Blu-ray Review: Goofy ‘Winter’s Tale’ a Bad Miracle

Printer-friendly versionE-mail page to friendPDF version

The theatrical poster for “Winter’s Tale,” after promising that “It’s not a true story, it’s a love story,” made a large demand from its viewers at the bottom: “This Valentine’s Day, Believe In Miracles.” While there is indeed a difference between filmmaking and marketing, it is hard to not imagine writer/director Akiva Goldsman whispering “believe in miracles” into the ear of every executive who helped “Winter’s Tale” come to life, immediately after throwing glitter on them.

Rating: 1.5/5.0

The catch with miracles in movies is not whether we believe in miracles, but if we trust, or more directly, buy them. Do we buy the miraculous magic of Goldsman’s “Winter’s Tale”? Not at all. You can’t believe a miracle if you don’t buy the story behind it.

Their characters may be goofy beings who speak weepy lines with stubborn accents, but Colin Farrell and Jessica Brown Findlay trudge through Goldsman’s junky blizzard, trying to at least salvage their own parts. Farrell, especially, deserves some mercy despite picking such a jokey story and a weepy role. Even when Goldsman’s script is squeezing him for all the cheese inside, he shows to be functional and sincere.

Other performances escape with less dignity. Russell Crowe continues to be a wavering talent, sometimes worth defending (like with “Les Miserables”), but “Winter’s Tale” brings out some of the hammiest in him. William Hurt appears briefly in the movie as well, delivering his dialogue as Beverly’s protective father as if he is trying to escape. Jennifer Connelly shows up to carry the grunt work that is this film’s wild-and-crazy third act, but is overshadowed in silliness by a scene in which Eva Marie Saint (playing a secret character) drops a set of binders.

Considering Goldsman’s initial background as a screenwriter, one can see a particular aspect of this endeavor that must have appealed to him. A popular rule in screenwriting is that you can only have “one magic bean,” that the storytelling process can’t handle more than one large fantastical element (like a story having a significant “ghost” character). With “Winter’s Tale,” Goldsman defies this rule, but unfortunately gives the credo further credence with his absurd lack of tact in handling his many special elements. “It’s not a true story, it’s a love story” only becomes a cop-out for the absolutely bananas version of fantasy reality he creates within this movie.

“Winter’s Tale” is an example of how silly one looks if they try too hard to be a romantic. With his directorial debut, Goldsman may think he has a glowing, unique love story, and one that touches all the bases and then some. But instead he has just another weird disaster, where he loses grasp of what makes for sturdy fantastical nature. To paraphrase Goldsman’s own dialogue, nonetheless from a previous film of the same problem - freeze in hell, “Winter’s Tale”!

Winter’s Tale was released on Blu-ray on June 24, 2014
Photo credit: Courtesy of Warner Bros.

Synopsis:
Based on Mark Halprin’s 672 page novel, “Winter’s Tale” is the swirling creation of a zealous Hollywood storyteller, or most definitely Akiva Goldsman, the guy who made money for devising the puns of 1997’s “Batman & Robin.” In the film, Colin Farrell plays Peter Lake, a ruffian in early 20th century America who was abandoned by his parents when they were sent home from Ellis Island. Lake works as a thief for Pearly Soames (Russell Crowe), an angry man with scars on his face and literal demons within him. When Lake escapes from the clutches of Pearly (with the help of a flying white horse named Athansor) he soon gazes upon a woman named Beverly Penn (Jessica Brown Findlay), who is dying of consumption. Though the two meet while he is trying to rob her place, the couple begin a cold-and-heavy courtship, where he must respect her need for cold temperatures, and muffle his hormonal inclinations.

Meanwhile, Beverly’s life clock continues to wind down, and the two are the target of Pearly’s rage. Pearly thinks Peter is Beverly’s “miracle,” and in his business of killing miracles, needs to ruin Peter’s chances of saving someone, or else.

Special Features:
o Behind the Scenes: “Winter’s Tale”: A Timeless Love
o Behind the Scenes: Characters of Good and Evil
o Additional Scenes
o DVD Copy of “Winter’s Tale”
o Digital Copy of “Winter’s Tale”

By Nick Allen
Contributor
HollywoodChicago.com