Feature: Top 25 Celebrity Portraits of 2022, by Photographer Joe Arce

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Average: 5 (6 votes)

CHICAGO – 2022 was a year of change and transformation. The former leader of the free world morphed into a horribly photoshopped digital trading card spokesmodel and pitch man. That and a full on spy challenging the DOJ to find the stolen classified documents in a shell game of 3 card monte exactly like a subway car hustler.

“Step right up Ladies and gentlemen and find the nuclear codes! Are they under Mar-A-Lago, in Bedminster or Trump Tower? Lay down your cash and you can win in a flash!.”



Elon Musk, the now former richest man on the planet and CEO of spontaneously combustible car and rocket companies, shape shifted into Julius Streicher 2.0 (JS was the publisher of “Der Strumer,” an antisemitic rag during the Third Reich era). Under Musk’s genius leadership Twitter welcomed white nationalists and antisemites to his new platform with a fervor not seen since the brown shirted glory days with Streicher, an executed war criminal and Der Führer’s BFF.

“Joe
Self Portrait: Photographer Joe Arce
Photo credit: Joe Arce of Starstruck Foto for HollywoodChicago.com

Like his fellow “free speech” advocate in history, Musk is also fond of polls on his platform much like Streicher ... “Should all of German's Jews simply be deported and shipped to the island of Madagascar?” Bonus points to Elon for “disappearing” critical journalists before hilariously getting voted off his own island. The tribe has spoken!

Vladimir Putin single handily transformed the once mighty and fearsome Russian military into a globally despised, Geneva-convention-breaking bunch of rag tag losers and war criminals. They embarrassingly found new meaning in the Beatles lyric “Well the Ukraine girls really knock me out” as they hightailed it back across the border happy to be back with their delusional leaders. The true Ukrainian hero President Volodymyr Zelenskyy was named Time magazine’s “Person of the Year,” while Russians lost Coca-Cola, McDonald’s, Starbucks, Apple, etc. … as well as international credit and banking. Good job comrades! Enjoy your Borscht.

In the spirit of all this change I’ve decided to shake up things a bit myself. This year’s “Top 25 Celebrity Portraits of 2022” will no longer be presented as near complete biographies – comprised almost entirely of run on sentences as usual. Instead, as Kayne West (or whatever his name is this week) goose steps his way towards bankruptcy and designing his own line of burger flipping spatulas as a new career route, this photographer of celebrities has decided to help make up for the loss of Kayne’s record contract by throwing down some wicked rhymes of my own.

And with that, let us proceed to my list of top 25 celebrity portraits of 2022, which are ranked in order below …



Star25. Actor Peter Billingsley

PeterB
Peter Billingsley
Photo credit: Joe Arce of Starstruck Foto for HollywoodChicago.com



Peter Billingsley returned as Ralphie
Reprising “A Christmas Story” role
Now grown up to teach his children 
Never lick a frozen pole

Photographed November 15th at the “A Christmas Story Christmas” Chicago premiere, Chicago Cultural Center.

Star24. Writer/Director Cooper Raiff



CCFF2022a
Cooper Raiff
Photo credit: Joe Arce of Starstruck Foto for HollywoodChicago.com

Cooper Raiff is that Wonder Kid
With a three-picture deal
Not exactly a “Shithouse” scene
He strives to keep it real.

He’s 25 that ain’t no jive
As he finds the winning groove.
A rising filmmaker who does it all
Now that’s just Cha-Cha Smooth. 

Photographed May 13th at the Chicago Critics Film Festival.

Star23. Governor Nikki Haley

Haley
Nikki Haley
Photo credit: Joe Arce of Starstruck Foto for HollywoodChicago.com

Is Nikki Haley The new face of the right?
Explains why her photos are a bit too light

Photographed October 3rd at Anderson’s Book Shop, Naperville, Illinois.

Star22. Actor Teresa Ruiz

TRuiz
Teresa Ruiz
Photo credit: Joe Arce of Starstruck Foto for HollywoodChicago.com

Father Stu can we Pray?
Forgive me for my sins
All I ask is for Terese Ruiz 
Just posing for my lens

Photographed October 17th at the Chicago International Film Festival.

Star21. Reverend Al Sharpton

CIFFAS
Rev. Al Sharpton
Photo credit: Joe Arce of Starstruck Foto for HollywoodChicago.com

The squeaky wheel gets the oil
So stand and raise your voice.
Our Pal Al is still that “Loudmouth”
Fighting for change and choice

Photographed October 17th at the Chicago International Film Festival.

CLICK HERE for the 10 BEST FILMS OF 2022 by Patrick McDonald of HollywoodChicago.com.

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