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The Rock

Nostalgia Not Enough to Save ‘Baywatch’ From Drowning

HollywoodChicago.com Oscarman rating: 1.5/5.0
Rating: 1.5/5.0

CHICAGO – Going to the beach is simultaneously an exciting and disgusting experience. Swimming in the cool water that thousands have gone inside in the past, with more than a few leaving bodily fluid deposits, is the perfect way to describe “Baywatch”. No amount of beefy biceps or shirt-busting breasts could have given “Baywatch” the buoyancy needed to keep from sinking, let alone stay afloat.

‘San Andreas’ Loads Its Story with Too Many Faults

HollywoodChicago.com Oscarman rating: 3.0/5.0
Rating: 3.0/5.0

CHICAGO – The best way, perhaps the only way, to enjoy the disaster movie “San Andreas” is to check your brain at the door, or better yet leave it at home for safekeeping. Bringing new meaning to the term mindless entertainment, “San Andreas” dares its audience to turn off their minds, and enjoy the ride.

Terribly Scripted ‘San Andreas’ With Dwayne Johnson a Heartless Special Effects Spectacle

HollywoodChicago.com Oscarman rating: 2.5/5.0
Rating: 2.5/5.0

CHICAGO – When the story is as weak as the film’s fault lines and the character development never develops, the problem with blowing $100 million mostly on special effects is all you’re left with is unintelligent disaster porn.

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